demiurgic (strawberryzink) wrote,

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Hello again LJ

It's been almost 6 years since my last post. Amazing! I haven't changed too much. I finished college and everything. I wonder if I can quickly sum up what has happened between spring/summer 2008 and now. I broke up with Dean and got with another guy. That relationship turned sour fast and I stupidly stayed in it longer than I should have. I was pathetic enough to give someone else my power. NEVER AGAIN. That ended earlier this year....thank goodness for that.

After college I wanted to pursue law school. My life didn't go that way either. Instead I went to court reporting school. I finally became a court reporter this year. Yup, licensed and everything.It was a long tough road, but I finished despite the odds.

So that sums up why I have been missing...well not really. So why am I back now? I need to have conversations with myself again that's why. In the relationship that I just got out of I lost sight of who I was. I got brainwashed. My ex-BF became my only confidant. He knew everything, and he had to know everything: where I was, who I was with, why I was them, what time was I leaving their company....He's more insecure than I have ever been. It took the breakup to see what a shitload of a relationship I was in. But I am out and free now, and probably happier than I have been in years despite the tragedies I have experienced this year.

This year has been one hell of  a roller coaster ride. I have cried so much this year. The failure of my relationship, the death of my dear cat, the death of a dear friend, and the happy times too, the success of finishing school, the success of passing the CSR exam, my two week road trip to Texas, my introduction to anime expo, long beach comicon, and comikaze, bats day at disneyland...yeah it's been a crazy year.

I know that the only thing holding me together both literally and figuratively is my skin. I am so overwhelmed with emotion and with no one to talk to. So I am back. I don't know if I am back for good, at least I am back for tonight. I don't think anyone even reads this anymore haha! And that's okay. I was having reading the things I wrote almost 10 years ago when I was in high school. I was such an emo, dramatic attention whore. Maybe I still am...who knows...but that's all for now folks!
Tags: hello, new beginnings, time to start writing again
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